Welcome to JTB’s Trade Grades! As the trade deadline approaches, I would like to take this time to grade all season-to-date Fashwet League Baseball (FLB) trades in chronological order. In the interest of being PC, the R word will NOT be used in this review.
Wednesday April 12th – LBB trades Dylan Bundy to BB for Manuel Margot
Week 2 of the season and we already have our 1st trade (Wow.) LBB fka The Miggy Mouse Club at this juncture was already making panic moves for a nobody OF. BB even at this point was showing signs of malicious intent. In the end, neither player is relevant, but BB later flips Bundy so he at least Margot some value. Next time BB comes calling, just say Marg-No!
LBB (F), BB (C+)
Tuesday April 18th – DHK trades Kenta Maeda to BB for Aaron Nola and Blake Snell
Less than a week later and BB makes its second trade of the season. On the surface this looks like a win for DHK fka Champions in the Maeken (MAKN) as Nola is better than Maeda, but DHK did not know baseball at this time and as we’ll find out later he will Maeken many more mistakes in the future.
DHK (B), BB (D)
Thursday April 27th – GRIF trades Jacob Degrom and Kole Calhoun to BB for Eric Thames and Dylan Bundy
Griff….no, no no, wtf, god no. GRIF after over drafting every Mets player in existence, watches his season go up in Thames, by using his first Fashwet trade in history to move the ace of the Mets staff and the only SP on his team that belongs in the majors to BB (his 3rd trade of the season and it’s not even May) for a 15th round 30 year old FITP fresh off returning from Korea. You can’t make this stuff up folks. Likely the worst trade this season and in the running for one of the worst trades in Fashwet history. We are all dumber thanks to witnessing this atrocity.
GRIF (F———–), BB (A+)
May 7th – MATT trades Dee Gordon to FJTB for Andrew Benintendi and Cesar Hernandez
It took a little over a month but FJTB’s (fka Matz Cats fka Xander’s Ganders fka BH 2 Rizzo) T10T marketing campaign finally finds a buyer in MATT. Not the worst trade in history as Tendi is a NLP (nice little player), just not top 10. MATT has not found a 2B since as Cesar Hernandez was not an adequate replacement. Disgraceful!
MATT (B-), FJTB (B+)
May 11th – AITT trades Matt Harvey to FJTB for Aaron Altherr and Zack Wheeler
This is…fine. All WWG, but I guess Wheeler is pitching so…AITT wins? Congrats!
AITT (C), FJTB (F)
May 12th – GRIF trades Steven Matz to FJTB for a pile of hot garbage
The players moved by FJTB in this deal are not even worth mentioning. The quintessential FJTB trade of packaging a bunch of nobodies who look like they’re doing well a month into the season for a proven player. We received a short-lived return of reigning champion Matz’s Cats as Steven would not pitch a single time for FJTB, but would prove to be a valuable trade chip later on.
GRIF (Z-), FJTB (A)
May 14th – GRIF trades Jake Arrieta to PCC for Ryan Zimmerman and Joe Biagini
GRIF makes his 3rd boneheaded trade within 3 weeks as he moves his 2nd round pick for the 2nd most obvious sell high candidate this season behind Eric Thames. Don’t get me wrong, neither player has been extremely productive since, but trades are about value both real and perceived, of which GRIF could have extracted much more in mid-May for a player of Arrieta’s stature. GRIFs chances after this move were Zimm to none.
GRIF (F), PCC (B)
May 15th – AITT trades John Lackey to JTB for Lance Lynn and Brad Brach
A clear wynn for AITT as Lance has been serviceable and Brach filled a glaring hole while Britton was DL’d. Lackey has certainly not been backey and now lives in the depths of waiver wire hellfire and brimstome.
AITT (B), JTB (D)
May 22nd – MATT trades Masahiro Tanaka to BB for Charlie Morton
Morton hears a…who in the hell makes this trade? MATT moves the struggling ace of the Yankees for a struggling back-end starter. If that is all you’re going to get for Tanaka, why bother? Morton ends up on the DL immediately after the trade. Tanaka has turned things around of late. Has BB been involved in a mutually beneficial trade yet? No. The Snake is showing no mercy at this stage of the season. Next time BB comes calling, just say Masahir-No!
MATT (D+), BB (B+)
May 24th – AITT trades Corey Seager to FJTB for Xander Bogaerts, Luis Severino, and Steven Matz
Oh look a TOK trade on FJTB’s birthday….that’s not suspicious at all. We all know AITT is always Seager to please. In all seriousness, this might be the most MBT this season and the first of FJTBs career. AITT trades a top SS for a very good SS, an emerging young ace in Severino, and a reliable when healthy SP in Matz. I’m not the biggest Bog fan, but I can’t argue this one.
AITT (A), FJTB (A)
June 1st – DHK trades Aaron Nola to BB for Ken Giles
After trading for Nola from BB earlier in the season, DHK trades Nola back to BB shortly after his return from the DL for a closer, albeit a decent one for a good team. The problem here is that Snake saw Corey Knebel floating on waivers who has been a seamless replacement for Giles and could have been a simple pickup for DHK while retaining the services of young Aaron. Next time BB comes calling, just say No-la!
DHK (C+), BB (B+)
June 4th – DHK trades Ian Kinsler to JTB for Eugenio Suarez
Shortly after an injury to Jean Segura, JTB quickly fills the gap by trading young, promising 3B Suarez for reliable veteran 2B Kinsler. Kinsler has been a bit better than Eugenio since and might prove to be a valuable commodity with JTBs loss of Correa. Sad!
DHK (C+), JTB (B)
June 12th – HANK trades Carlos Gonzalez to BB for Jordan Montgomery and Jameson Taillon
And the Snake POS strikes again, after stealing poor Jameson from me while he recovered from testicular cancer, BB goes even lower than low buying 3rd round OF CarGo. Does this man have no heart? Does he have no soul? What the imbeciles of Fashwet always misunderstand when I claim a trade is lopsided, is it is not necessarily based on future expected performance or an affinity for a certain player, but on value. CarGo at that point in time should have net more than 2 back-end SPs with no ceilings (weezy). CarGo has also just been beyond crap, so it’s a wash. Next time BB comes calling, just say CargNo!
HANK (C), BB (C-)
June 13th – DHK trades Wil Myers to FJTB for Dee Gordon
It’s always fun to look at the chain that got us here…FJTB traded T10T for Dee Gordon, then Gordon for Myers, effectively trading T10T for Wil Myers. I understand the trade…I just don’t particularly like moving an all-cat contributor for a single-cat. DHK should probably exhibit a bit more Wil-power next time.
DHK (B-), FJTB (B)
June 19th – DHK trades Kris Bryant to JTB for AJ Pollock and Ryon Healy
I take back what I said earlier, this is the most MBT this season, and maybe ever. My son, I mean DHK, trades the reigning NL MVP, but gets back a package to end all packages of speedy stud Pollock and emerging superstar Healy. DHK took a risk with AJ’s injury history, but there’s no denying his production when healthy. A model for all MBTs going forward. Bravo guys!
DHK (A+), JTB (A+)
June 19th – LBB trades Justin Turner to FJTB for Jose Berrios
After losing out on the Ryon Healy sweepstakes, FJTB makes what looked like a panic move at the time trading promising young stud SP Berrios for the ugly face of the Juiced Ball Era Justin Turner. So far, Turner has been a boon for FJTB while Berrios has begun to show signs of the league adjusting to him. Still, two solid players, and Berrios was a Berry big part of LBB’s reconstruction of his rotation.
LBB (B), FJTB (B+)
June 23rd – LBB trades Justin Verlander AND Miguel Cabrera to BB for Jacob Degrom
To recap – BB acquired Jacob Degrom from GRIF for 15th round pick Thames, then flipped Degrom for Verlander AND Miggy, effectively trading FITP Thames for Verlander AND Miggy. Now that that is out of the way. This falls in the category with the aforementioned uneven value trades, but it is tough to argue with how good Degrom has been. The 3rd best SP over the last month, Degrom is proving to be well worth the hefty price tag. Snake’s scumbag buy low spree may come back to bite him here, but you can never count out these 2 all time greats. Next time BB comes calling, Justin say no!
LBB (A-), BB (B-)
That is all the trades so far this season. The one consistent we can all agree on is that JTB is getting screwed.
Thank you for reading and GFY.
One response to “JTB’s Trade Grades”
Daddy knows best!